Uh...

[Johnny Magnum]

The fans in the arena sit back in their seats, impatiently awaiting the next historical event to happen in the world of wrestling. Just when we cut to the broadcasting table, the power in the arena goes out. The fans scream, half in fear and excitement. The only light comes from the thousands of flashes, coming from the fans that have brought a camera to this event with them. A giant nine appears on the titration, that looks like a kid might have written it. The nine turns into an eight, then seven, and we now see that a countdown has formed. The fans start to count along with it. Three, Two, One!!!….. Nothing. The fans in the arena all go to confusion, but not for long. A firework display, shoots from the stage, frightening most in the arena. Unfamiliar music then begins to play….




The fans all look on, all knowing who this music might belong too. Flashy lights flicker all over the stage, the is being filled with a rising smoke. A silhouette of a man appears in the smoke on the stage, as the fans still look on, confused. The man wears a jacket, with a black hood and black sleeves. The body of it is white. His arms are extended out and his legs are straight together. He turns around, revealing he has a hood, draped over his head. He walks down the ramp, cockily swaying his body and ignoring the pleading fans that ask for high fives. He runs up the ramp, and pulls his body under the rope. The man walks over to the ropes and places his hands on the top one. He pushes forward, looking out at all the fans, then leans back and jumps on the middle rope. He stares out, at the sea of curious fish, before ripping off his hood. The mystery man has bee revealed. His orange hair is short cut... he is Christian Cage. He stands on the turnbuckle for some time, before slowly dismounting. He bends between the ropes, and calls out for a Mic. He walks to the center of the ring, with a golden smile on his face... he brings the microphone to his mouth and begins to speak.

Now, for those of you who don't know who I am... let me introduce myself... I am the real deal... the future of this business... you might not believe me now... but trust me... one day... I WILL be champion...... because THAT'S... how I roll!

Christian smirks..... before he can say another word... he is interrupted by...
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[The Rated "R" Superstar]

The crowd jumps in excitement for Tommy dreamer. However, when a man hunched over a cane holding his back with his face to the ground surfaces, they begin to leer. The man is wearing a short cut wig the same as Tommy Dreamer's hair. He slowly makes his way out with the cane inching him ever so closer to the ring. About a few feet away, he stops and looks up. Realizing his 3 minute journey has brought him no where near the final destination, he screams something to the camera tech. They bring him a microphone, and he holds it with his free hand. He takes a good long breath, and the microphone slips from his hands. He begins speaking anyway, unaware of the technical difficulty. The fans look on confused and chuckle as the man speaks with no words befalling to any ear. A guy with a headset runs up and tries to reason with "Dreamer." Dreamer shoves the guy out of the way, the realized he no longer has the mic. He looks down, and sighs. He tries reaching for it, with no results. Running out of ideas, the man uses his cane to strike at the microphone until finally Mr. Headset man comes back and hands the mic to "Dreamer."

"Now Cage, I hear you out here speaking alot of speaks. I notice you got the mouth, but do you have the heart?"

"Dreamer" stumbles slightly forward almost falling over. He catches himself, and Cage stands center ring laughing almost uncontrollably. "Dreamer" smacks his lips a few times, preparing for some more words of wisdom.

"DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES, TO GO TO THE EXTREEEEEMMMME!"

"Dreamer" raises both hands in the air, accidentall flinging the cane behind him. He falls down to his knees and rolls down the ramp like a third grader rolling in the park. He smacks into the side of the arena and we hear a faint yell.

"MY BACK"


The man reaches his arm and grabs onto the apron. He pulls himself into the ring and stands up. Christian falls back against the turnbuckle laughing, as "Dreamer" ditches the outfit. With his head no longer facing the mat, and his shirt clearly reading "Rated R", we can see him for who he truely is. EDGE! Christian and Edge embrace each other with both men smirking.

[Johnny Magnum]

Christian smirks... as his partner in crime joked about Tommy Dreamer's old age... He brings the mic to his lips again... laughing as he does it...

Christian:
Haha... yeah... I got what it takes to go "extreme"! In fact, you and I have had our fair share of extreme moments... Wrestlemania 17 back in WWE... that EXTREME spear off the ladder...

Edge smirks... as his brother speaks so highly of him.

Yeah... weren't those the days... however, we are looking at a new chapter in the book of Edge and Christian...wait... why is it Edge and Christian? Can't it be Christian and Edge for once?

[The Rated "R" Superstar]

Christian and E.....Well I mean, we already signed the contract with my name first. With the politics today ya know, It....Well I blame Bush. We'll talk this over later. Anyway, To hell with heart, and "having what it takes" Because E and C have ALOT, to bring to the table. I'm suck of people asking if we have what it takes to go to the extreme. It is an old cliche that died a lo0ong time ago my friends. So in the age old tradition of taking out the old, and bringing in the new, let me ask all of you in the back a question of my own. Do you have what it takes? Can YOU stand the heat, when things here in the land of extreme, begin to get RATED AREEEEEEEEEEEE!

[Johnny Magnum]

Politics? What? Why blame Bush? You blame who you wanna blame but when it comes down to the last piece of pie eaten by the old lady past midnight it is all Abe Lincon's fault....

'Cause THAT'S how I roll!

[The Rated "R" Superstar]

Pie? Old lady? Roll? That reminds me of that hit song, Pie Old Lady Roll! Remember that one? awe man it was great. Much like Abe, Kudos to him.

Christian begins to look pissed, as Edge begins singing Pie old lady roll.

I MEAN NO! NO KUDOS TO ABE! K? Regardless of who kudos and who kudont's, why are we talking to these people? They understand less about politics than you understand about the female body......I'm sorry. I'm just joshin ya bro. Just joshin ya. Nothn personal.

[Johnny Magnum]

Woman's body? What? Are you trying to hin at something, bro?

Before Edge can answer, Christian continues,

Were getting off topic.... back to the point....

My bro and I, CHRISTIAN and Edge... will become the first set of LOE Tag Team Champions.... because we are.....

RATED R!!!!!

[Johnny Magnum]

"Time of Dying" suddenly interrupts Edge and Christian. The two instantly jerk there heads to see who has interrupted them. Bursting from the curtains, we see Johnny Magnum! He stares at Edge and Christian... and shakes his head... staying at the top of the ramp, he begins to speak.

Magnum:
"You two... CAN'T be serious.. You two seriously think that was funny, don't you? Haha...

You two will become the first Tag Team champions? Nah.. I got some other plans... but who is my partner you may ask?


Magnum turns back to the stage as he and the rest of the world of wrestling patiently and eagerly wait for his partner to come out..

[The Roy]

The entire arena jumps the their feet as a very well known man in the wrestling biz makes his first ever appearance in the land of extreme. The Roy gallantly walks from behind the curtain with his thick black cowboy hat mounted on his skulls peak, and his long faded blue jeans attached to his legs. He looks up with a smile on his face, Edge and Christian however do not share the joy. Magnum and The Roy shake hands as the arena goes insane for the new alliance. Magnum hands Roy the mic.

Haha, I dunno Magnum. I thought they were pretty funny. I mean, It's kind of like one big jackass parade ya know? I mean, It's the kind of funny as if, Mini me announces he were the tallest man alive. Or if Saddam hussien won a nobel peace prize. Or if....if Micheal Jackson said he had a girlfriend. I mean it's just all so ridiculous, you can't help but laugh.

[Johnny Magnum]

Magnum raises his eyebrow and takes the Mic from Roy.. he slightly chuckles for a bit, and then he speaks into the Mic..

Magnum:
"Heh... I guess it is pretty funny. 'Bout as funny as that one time we were walking in San Fransisco when that gay man came up to us and he looked like he had been in the sewers where Killer Kroc lives who is from Batman who is played by Christian Bale who worked with Heath Ledger which was the gay guy's dog's name on Family Guy.... so in the end, we meat another gay guy.. scary and ironic, but in my opinion, pretty damn funny...."

[The Roy]

The Roy slooowly takes the microphone back. He looks highly perplexed as he looks Magnum in the eyes.

"Uhm, Magnum....I've Never been to California."

[Johnny Magnum]

Magnum's face turns red from embarrassment.. he shyly backs away and takes the mic from the hand's of The Roy.


Magnum:
"Uh... oh, that's right, silly me, I was with my friend Carla... that's why.... never mind... Ya know what, were getting off topic... The point is it is fucking funny that these two clowns think there funny, right? Get t? Got it? Good, we can move on...."

Johnny takes a sigh of relief and looks around at the fans. He shrugs and tosses the Mic to Roy.

[The Roy]

Can you say that on TV? You're gonna get us fired on our first week here, then all this playful banter will have been for nothing.

Both The Roy and Johnny Magnum begin to laugh.

YEAH RIGHT, like they would ever fire us. Can you say dumbass? WHO CARES! Here's an idea. Let's drop the mic, drop the charm, and charge the ring.

The Roy tosses the mic behind his back, and over his head back into Magnum's hands.

[Johnny Magnum]

Johnny looks at the mic, then at The Roy, then at the fans. He drops the Mic and together him and Roy charge the ring. Edge and Christian prepare themselves, expecting to get an easy beat on the Roy and Johnny. Magnum and Roy slide into the ring, Magnum and Christian exchange blows while Roy and Edge do the same. After a long brawl, Magnum attempts a Gun Shot on Christian, but he pushes Johnny off and fleas the ring faster than a race horse. Edge thumbs Roy's eyes, thus allowing him to escape. Edge and Christian stare at The Roy and Johnny... Magnum snags Edge's Mic off the ground...

Magnum:
"You want the tag titles? Huh?!? Well, you're not getting 'em! Tell 'em why, Roy!"